Saturday, October 3, 2009

Swedish Girls: Relationships and Sex


(note: noone in this photo is actually swedish)
This post i have been anxious to write but with cautious reproach as i wanted to do the topic justice with an informed and honest look at where women in Sweden are today and how they got there. Saying that women in Sweden are just like all other women out there would not be giving the women here justice. Swedish women are strong, independent, hard working, determined and have a do what they want attitude.

Swedish women have worked hard for equality in society in fact Swedish women were first given full rights to vote in 1921, somewhat similar to Canada which granted the same 5 years earlier in 1916. This equality also reflects long term relationships (or marriage) in Sweden with rights for both parents to equally split parental leave if they so desire. But wait, before we even can get to the point where we are caring for kids, lets rewind and discuss a bit about how to have sex or a relationship with the fairer sex.

Swedes have worked very hard to remove the 'inconvenience' of conversation from day to day affairs with automated machines replacing people in all manner of places and as such, it is not often that you have the opportunity to strike up a conversation with a Swede be it male or female. In my experience it seems that alcohol is the social lubricant that helps break the ice, in almost all situations. Any event you go to in Sweden be it at a University, Dinner party, or anywhere a gathering is to take place, will undoubtedly have a welcome drink as well as several drinks throughout the evening.

Walking on the street you will rarely if ever get any eye contact from a girl, normally if you bump into someone or they bump into you, not so much as an apology will be uttered from either party.

Now if your here to meat a Swedish girl, the weekend club scene is your best bet. Swedish women have a very liberated attitude when it comes to sex and as a foreigner Swedish women will generally see you as interesting because you are foreign. Something I find funny about being a foreigner here is that in my experience Swedish guys don't even bother to talk to girls in the clubs preferring instead to hang out amongst themselves. Spiky hair, low hanging tight pants and a knack for drinking to the extreme is what characterizes the younger generation of men. Conversely, suit jackets, ties, and a knack for drinking to the extreme is what characterizes the older generation of men. Ironically, both groups seem to want to go after the same age range of women, with the later having a bit more sway as they can afford several more rounds of shots and drinks then the former. (remember, we are in the country of $12 beers and $24 mixed drinks)

Having spoken to my international friends about this, they have all said the same thing that a one night stand (ONS) is nothing unusual here and from their experience its the ONS that can lead to a relationship as otherwise its darn near impossible to even talk to a girl here without it feeling weird.

So what are the ingredients for a night of fun here in Sweden?
  1. Preparty before the club
  2. Get to and into the club (involves looking sober enough to allow the guard to let you in)
  3. Purchase copious amounts of drinks
  4. Get on the dance floor and bump into someone you find attractive
  5. Hope they find you attractive back
  6. More drinks
  7. Dance until the club is about to close
  8. If you are still sober enough to find you way home then get there together.
  9. Wake up in the morning, have some uncomfortable conversation and if it was a hemmamatch then she will be doing the walk of shame back to her place (for her sake, offer to cook lunch and chat up some more until the afternoon so it doesnt look bad)
In terms of being shy, or introverted, i wouldn't say that i fall into that camp but I would be honest in saying that not speaking the language fluently can assist when meeting someone new. Depending on the other parites comfort with their english language skills the conversation can rapidly become a rerun of dozens of conversations I have had in the past such as:
where are you from?,
how long have you been here?
How long are you staying? etc...

In fact, as to the subject of language, i have found that although at this point I am able to have a conversation in Swedish, my approach of choice will be one in English. Swedish girls and guys find it boring to speak Swedish in a way, its so normal to do so. However a foreigner that speaks English that comes up to them gives them both a chance to do something uncommon and speak english. Sprinkle the follow up conversation with tidbits of Swedish just to spark some curiosity and interest and hopefully you get to meet someone new for longer then 1 hour.

As Sweden is quite liberal, sex is also. It's quite normal for people to go out to find someone for the night. A friend of mine in fact just a couple weeks ago was out at a club, dancing the night away and at 3am when the club was closing a girl approached him and said 'Your coming home with me tonight', not only a bold statement but a correct one. And so is the reproach of the Swedish girl, why fool around with small talk, witty banter or a conversation. But just as sex is liberal, dont expect to get a hello from the same person next time you meet out in public as another one of my friends found out (perhaps he was bad in bed, but thats another post for another time).

Well hopefully this article has given you some insight as to my opinions and beliefs about Swedish girls.

The Swedish word of the day is 'Samlag' which means intercourse in Swedish ;)

2 comments:

  1. Dear ..

    i planning to visit sweden on august, pls advise wr i can find a female companion / friend.. i mean wich club was good for the same.

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